Why you should not work for or with your spouse

At first, the idea of working with the love of your life is such an exciting thing. We were girlfriend-boyfriend then when we started working together. I was out of school and he’s in college. He has this world problem that he wants to solve and so we started working on this startup idea.

Your self-esteem will go down.

That’s how I felt after a year of working with him. We got comfy with each other and that suddenly it’s not all romantic and cheesy. It was mostly about work. He starts to correct me and that’s because he does not only see me as his girlfriend anymore but also his coworker who is working with him to reach his goal. For me, that sucks. The person who I thought admires me so much doesn’t anymore (that’s what I think) because he corrects me and gets frustrated with me. Before, all he talks about is how wonderful I am (and that really brings your confidence and belief with yourself up you know.) But then the person who you felt loved the most is telling you now what you did wrong and what you failed to do. I felt miserable with my self. Honestly, I hated our startup at that moment and because of that we started arguing.

I’ve been working with my husband for 6 years now and counting. Now my husband partnered and co-owned a web development company and that strengthen my belief that you should not work with your spouse.

You will have almost nothing to talk about.

Yes, because you are almost together 24/7. We share all the happenings of the day. I sometimes miss those days that we are so excited to meet each other and can’t wait to share all my stories with him. Now, that only happens if I go out alone or to meet with friends or he goes to a business trip or a meeting or to meet with his friends.

Your spouse will correct you rather than encourage you.

Yup! Perks of working with your spouse. Haha! This is so depressing. I think I already explained this one on the first point as well.

Partners! Attention please. I know you are thinking about work but your priority is to be a husband to your wife or a wife to your husband and not a boss or coworker. When he or she is stressed, comfort or encouraged him or her first and then in a loving way tell them what they can do. Corrections are easily welcomed if a person knows that this person talking to me loves me. Lay a strong foundation first.

A tip: Do the sandwich methodology. Hahaha! You know the kiss-kick-kiss? Say first something good then you can tell them what’s wrong or bad and then seal it with something good or an encouragement again.

Home is still like in the office.

When you get home you still talk about work. It’s like you never got out of the office. Supposedly, home is where you get comfort and encouragement but it’s not really because refer to the third point.

And that’s my last main reason why you shouldn’t work for your spouse. Some of you cannot relate with me and disagrees with me. Good for you! Don’t get me wrong, there are great advantages of working with or for your husband but I just really feel overwhelmed with the disadvantages sometimes. So before you decide on working with your spouse, those are the things you might want to think about.

But as I was thinking and struggling with this I realised something. I imagined myself not working with my husband, then I decided that I would still choose this path. I would rather be mad, frustrated or stressed with or at him than miss him. Hahaha! You must be thinking that I am so lame. No, it’s love. Hahaha! But seriously, yes, it’s really hard for me to work if he is not around because I always think about what he is doing now or where he is or how is he. And it’s hard for me to concentrate. I can focus more on work if I know he is just somewhere in the office. If I was not working with him and working somewhere else I think I would always be in a hurry to finish what I need to do so I can see him right away. (Which is not bad, actually. Hahaha!)

Because of this realizations, I give you this intermission break: I’d Rather by Luther Vandross

Just as the song goes.. “I’d rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself.” 😁

Maybe someday we will eventually be working separately but for now I will continue to work with him for as long as I can. It is a privilege to be working with him side by side on reaching his dreams and to change the world.

My husband is awesome but not perfect. I have my own flaws too. We talk and still continue to talk about things that we have a problem with and our struggles. We don’t agree at most times so we decide on what we both can do so we do not become so much of a burden to each other. We compromise and sometimes sacrifice. In a relationship, communication is really key to making things and situations work.

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